


the world: shaking, changing, and brand new

by cydbys



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: College, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, mean homophobic loser is there but just for a minute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2019-01-05 04:01:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12182505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cydbys/pseuds/cydbys
Summary: When his dad dies at the start of his sophomore year of college, Lucas's world changes. The next summer, it changes again.





	the world: shaking, changing, and brand new

There was a cosmic shift the night of graduation. It had always been there, Lucas figured, holding up the whole world. 

Riley and Maya. 

They'd loved each other before anyone else, before Lucas, before they'd thought of each other as an option. Everyone throws their caps, and Lucas looks over to see Riley's face cupped in Maya's hands and their lips pressed together gently, like they do this all the time. Maybe they did. 

It didn't surprise him, not really. What did surprise him was the tug in his heart that he knew from experience wasn't for any girl. He felt Farkle's presence beside him and then his world shifted too. 

At the after party, everyone found someone to dance with. Lucas watched, mostly, until Farkle went to stand beside him and yelled over the music that he should stop thinking so much, and wasn't that a change of pace? 

So the two of them joined Riley and Maya and Zay, and Smackle danced with someone Lucas had never met but who she seemed pretty cozy with. He didn't let himself think about whether or not Farkle was jealous. 

~ 

Lucas, Zay, and Riley ended up at the same college, and Maya isn't too far away. 

Farkle, on the other hand, was too many miles away for Lucas to ever see him and at first he didn't understand why that was Farkle's first choice. 

Then, the pain of being around faded into pain of missing him and he's closer to okay with it. 

Riley joined some sorority and Maya showed up covered in paint all the time, and Lucas and Zay's cheap apartment was as nice as they can make it. 

His freshmen year was nice, although he rarely got to talk to his parents and missed them like crazy. They'd went back to Texas to stay for a while, back to living in Lucas's childhood home while he and Zay practiced baseball pitches and mostly passed classes. 

The summer was a blur of parties and beach trips and significantly less work, plus the luxury of actually having time to call his parents. 

Then, on the first week back in classes, his mom called with the news of his father's heart attack. 

By the time Lucas got to Texas, he was dead. 

Just like that, his world was put on hold. 

He wasn't planning on living in Texas for a whole year, especially not away from his mother and in the house that reminds him so much of his dad. No, the plan was to be back on his feet by now. It doesn't matter that it isn't working out, because Lucas can't bring himself to care. Besides, he'd already missed so much school. 

Then summer came, and the pins and needles of reality began to poke through the numbness. 

A bomb went off in his mind, because there was Farkle, right outside his door. 

Lucas wasn't sure if he wanted to hug him (it had just been so long), or laugh, or cry (but he's done so much of that lately, there can hardly be anymore of it left in him.) 

In the end, he invited him in. 

He learned that Farkle was staying at a hotel nearby, that he'd had enough time to stay for a while, if Lucas would have him. 

By the time the sun set, Farkle's suitcases were in the extra room and he'd cancelled his hotel reservations. 

Lucas worried himself sick. He'd lost his scholarships, and there was no way his mom could help him out. He would have to figure out some other way, and that started with getting a job. One academic year of mourning was as much as he could afford. 

"You gonna be alright, Farkle? Won't get too bored while I'm gone?" 

He flashed Lucas a smile, and suddenly it was graduation all over again and Lucas really can't think like that, not when he just got this back. 

"I'll find something to do." 

"Farkle did, or at least Lucas guessed he did, because when he got back from applying to dozens of jobs Farkle was passed out on the couch. Lucas grabbed a blanket out of the closet and draped it over the sleeping boy, then went out on the porch with his phone. His thumb went back and forth over call Riley and call Maya. Riley would give better advice, but even after all these years she could hardly keep a secret. Maya would give decent advice with her usual dose of meanness and besides, if he told her it would probably get around to her girlfriend eventually. He called her anyway. 

"Howdy, partner!" 

Lucas rolled his eyes. "Maya, I'm in trouble." 

"So that's why you called me instead of Riles. Who's body am I helping you bury?" 

"Not that kind of trouble. Farkle's here." 

"Yeah, I know that. Duh. Who do you think told him to go?" 

"Maya!" 

"I don't see why this is a problem." 

"Not everyone can be you and Riley!" 

"What do you even mean?" 

"I mean that I like him, okay?" 

"Oh. Since when?" 

Lucas huffed and checked through the window to make sure Farkle was still asleep. 

"I thought I was over it." 

"I didn't know there was something for you to be over." She paused, thinking. "But I think Riley's always known." 

Lucas sighed. Of course Riley had known. For such an oblivious girl, she picked up on pretty much everything. He said the same to Maya. 

"Here's what I think you should do, Huckleberry. Stop fighting your feelings and just let it happen. See where it takes you. Who knows, maybe you'll start liking how things change." 

"You're still in college, Maya. It's too early to start sounding so much like Mr. Matthews." 

"Maya scoffed. 

"Seriously, though, thank you." 

About ten minutes after they hung up, Farkle stepped out onto the porch. 

"Sorry I fell asleep. When did you get back?" 

He spoke quietly, like he was trying not to bother the peace all around them. Lucas leaned in closer, recognized not being able to hear as a perfect excuse for the magnetism between them. 

"Bout half an hour ago. I was gonna see if you wanted me to pick up something for dinner, but you didn't answer your phone." 

"Farkle winced. "Sorry. But some good fries sound pretty great right now." 

"Lucas smiled and moved to go back in and grab his keys. "We can go wherever you want, just one condition." 

Farkle looked at him suspiciously. 

"Yes?" 

"We go somewhere nice at least once while you're here. I know this really awesome fancy place." 

Farkle extended his hand. "You have a deal." 

If the handshake lasted a little longer than a normal one should, well, no one else has to know. 

~ 

They fell into a pattern that danced dangerously closely to domesticity. 

Lucas supposed it's nearly inevitable, what with them living together, but then again sharing space with Zay freshmen year hadn't felt like this. 

He was enjoying it, but even that was terrifying. It felt like that couldn't last. He was surprised to come home (is that the word now? He'd grown up here, but Farkle had made it more of a home than it had been for years.) and find Farkle and his mother deep in conversation. They'd met before, but Lucas hadn't thought she would want to come back here, and he really hadn't thought she'd look this... normal. 

The last time he'd saw her, just a few days ago, the sorrow she was feeling was as plain on her face as any emotion ever was. Now, it seemed to have settled in deep into her laugh lines and frown lines. She was mourning, he knew, but her eyes sparkled. 

Whatever they'd been talking about had the tips of Farkle's ears turned a lovely shade of pink. Lucas wanted to press for information but ignored the urge. 

Whatever it was, the two of them had fallen silent the second he'd walked into the room. It wasn't for him to know. Yet, at least. 

Farkle fell asleep on the couch hours later, still hunched over his laptop and fingers still resting on the keyboard he'd been typing out a paper for one of his extra summer classes on. Lucas had watched the way his typing had gone from his usual lightning speed to slower and slower until eventually stopping altogether. He'd been present enough to answer his mom's questions, but his distraction wouldn't escape her. No wonder she brought him out onto the front porch. 

She lit a cigarette and brought it up to her lips. Lucas winced, but didn't say anything. He knew his father was the reason she'd quit, and maybe his memory wasn't enough to kill the old habit. Maybe his memory was what brought it back. 

Lucas leaned on the railing until it creaked under his weight and watched the fireflies. For a second, he thought of romance and then immediately after, Farkle. The next second, he dismissed that thought as too mushy and focused on how happy he was he still had his mom. 

"That Farkle." She said, shaking her head. "He'll make you a great husband one day." 

Lucas nearly tripped over the railing. 

"Ma! We aren't even dating!" 

She smiled at him and put out her cigarette. 

"I've had about enough of this place." 

Lucas hugged her tight. "I know Ma, I know." 

~ 

Farkle asked him how he was doing over the boxes of Chinese takeout they had spread out on the coffee table. 

For a second, Lucas tripped over the "fine" hovering on the tip of his tongue. 

"I miss him." He said. 

Then, a little more raw, a little more angry: "It doesn't seem fair, you know? It's like, he was taken away from me and I still needed him. He won't get to see me graduate, or see me get married. My kids will be down a grandparent and... that's not how it's supposed to be. It's not fair." 

He didn't think he could handle Riley or Maya right now, with Riley's optimism promising that it will get better or Maya's pity that's always made him feel guilty. He wasn't sure about Zay- he knew Lucas well, of course, but they'd never faced something like this together. 

Farkle, though. 

Farkle did what he needed. He moved closer, didn't say a word, just wrapped his arms around Lucas's broader frame. 

"It's not fair." Lucas repeated, and it even sounded like all the fight was drained out of him. Farkle nodded against the side of his head. 

"I know, Lucas. It isn't." 

~ 

Zay stopped by on one of the Mondays that made Lucas realize just how little summer he had left. He had been in and out of Texas when he could afford it- unlike Lucas, Zay still felt as though he belonged there. Farkle was out shopping (for what, Lucas didn't know) that day, so the two of them ate at the restaurant Farkle had grown a secret disdain for after Lucas picked up food from there so many times. Zay talked about his new girlfriend and how he and his college friends (which included, somehow unsurprisingly, Riley and subsequently Maya) were already planning for spring break. Lucas shoves his high school jealousy and insecurity down to the pit of his stomach, and they laugh over old memories until one is of his dad leaves them in nearly uncomfortable silence. 

So Zay asked, "You and Farkle, huh?" Really, Lucas would be surprised enough to choke on one of the "bottomless" rolls he's scarfing down, but this just happens so often now. 

He rolled his eyes. "There's no way I'm that obvious. You all just know me too well." 

Zay smirked. "So what I'm hearing is, you and your nerd are getting it on and everyone knows without you telling them?" 

"Oh my god, Zay, it's not like that. He doesn't- We're just friends." 

Zay gives an overdramatic wince. 

"That stings, man." 

"Yeah, it kinda does." 

Zay stayed the night and they talked about making a fort under the kitchen table like they used to but they're too big now. 

Lucas knew that, but it still broke his heart. Farkle got back to find the two of them well into a heated game of Jenga. 

Zay, because college party life had turned him into a beer hoarder, had produced a case out of his truck which, between the two of them and the long evening, they'd nearly finished. 

Then Zay, because college party life had turned him into an expert wingman, grabbed Farkle by the wrist and tugged him closer to where they were sitting. He used the smaller boy's weight against him and let go, ending in Farkle being very nearly, but not quite, on Lucas's lap. 

"Join us, Farkle!" 

Lucas lost on the next turn, but he couldn't really be blamed because Farkle hadn't moved and he could feel the other boy's breath on the side of his neck. 

Zay woke up the next morning to see the two of them on the couch opposite him doing what could only be described as cuddling and absolutely covered in Jenga blocks. He did what anyone would do- snap a quick picture and send it to Riley and Maya. 

From: Little Miss Sunshine 

Zay put his phone in his pocket and left Lucas a note on the table. He'd leave them to pick up the Jenga blocks, but he wouldn't be happy about it. 

~ 

Lucas didn't even really want to go out that night, but Farkle did, so there he was. It wasn't in Farkle's nature to enjoy clubbing, but he did like to dance, and something about the strangeness of the Austin party scene made him feel more comfortable. Lucas just had a bad feeling that definitely had nothing to do with what Farkle had deemed his clubbing outfit. No, those were all good feelings. 

Lucas had assumed they'd eventually split up and dance with other people, but three clubs in and Farkle was sticking close. Three clubs in, and, against all of his better judgement, Lucas had his hands on Farkle's hips and was moving with him, listening to the other boy laugh in his ear. 

At the edge of the dance floor, a boy glared at them. Lucas realized, in a heart dropping moment, that the boy was wearing a Trump shirt and that maybe it wasn't normal for him to dance with a boy like this- but he'd already fought this inner battle, and he knew the outcome. Nothing this guy could say to him about his sexuality could be worse than what he's said to himself. 

But the minute this guy says something to Farkle? He's as good as dead. 

"Come on, this music kind of sucks. Let's go somewhere else." 

Farkle looked up at him, very close to pouty. "But I like the lights." 

Lucas hesitated, and in that second, a hand grabbed his shoulder. 

"Hey, fags. Go find your own club." 

"This is as much our club as it is yours." Farkle snapped, because of course he did. Lucas tried the steadily stare him down approach, but then he noticed another, bigger guy behind him. 

"Farkle. We should get out of here." 

He tried to walk away. Really, he did. But they get nearly to his truck in the parking lot and then those guys are behind them, and the bigger on kicked a rock at Farkle while he said, "Burn in hell, fag." And that was about as much as Lucas could take. He swung at the guy so fast you could have blinked and missed it. The big guy went down hard, hard enough that the smaller one looked like he was questioning whether or not to even try. He made the wrong choice. They always did. 

~ 

Lucas could feel the blood dripping out of his nose. A little bit of it had gotten on Farkle's white shirt and he traced his finger on the stain. 

"Sorry I messed up your shirt." 

"Lucas! You just got punched in the face and you're worried about my shirt? Now, hold still." Whatever Farkle was putting on the cut above his eyebrow stung. "At least make sure there aren't two unexpected fight club members the next time you start swinging at jerks in the parking lot." 

Lucas rolled his eyes. Well, the affect was only half as efficient with his right eye swollen nearly shut and the wince that came right after. 

"I'm sorry I couldn't help." Farkle said, leaned in closer to Lucas than he really needed to be. 

"Didn't want you to. Didn't want you to get hurt." 

"Did it bother you, what those guys said? Or was it because of..." 

"Yeah, it bothered me, but not enough to come to blows over it. When that guy said that to you, though." 

"So it is my fault." 

Lucas huffed out a disbelieving laugh. 

"Farkle, I'm probably going to spend the rest of my life getting into fights over people I care about. You don't have much of a choice." 

It was Farkle's turn to roll his eyes. 

"People you care about, huh?" 

"Yeah, people I care about." He said it quietly, intimate because of the subject matter and the tone. Words like these were meant for their ears only. 

The moment was shattered when Farkle's phone rang. 

Incoming: FaceTime from Riley 

"Hey girls." 

"Hey boys." Riley's smile is just as bright as always. "You'll never guess where we are right- Lucas! What happened to your face?" 

Both girls leaned in closer to the screen to try and get a better look. 

"He fought some jerks at a club earlier." 

"You guys went clubbing? Riles, I think we've entered some kind of alternate dimension, and our resident nerd is too busy being a party animal to fix it!" 

Riley kissed her girlfriend's nose and Farkle pretended to gag. Lucas leaned out of view of the camera so that the two of them wouldn't see the way he couldn't keep his eyes (well, eye) off of Farkle. 

"Wait, so where are you guys? You're in a car..." 

"Duh!" 

"WE'RE IN AUSTIN!" 

"RILEY! WE AGREED IT WOULD BE A SURPRISE!" 

"Oh my god, guys! That's great!" 

Lucas leaned back into view. So this is where they'd been heading on that road trip. 

"There's a pride parade on Saturday. We wanna go to it and then leave on Sunday." 

"I didn't know there was a parade!" Farkle looked over at Lucas happily. 

"Neither did I. Hey, girls, I'll text you the address now." 

The screen blurred like they were moving the phone around. 

"Riley's driving again, but thanks. We'll see you in a few." 

Farkle ended the call. 

"I love them, I really do, but it was nice, just me and you having the house to ourselves." 

Lucas would have maybe asked him about that, maybe it would have led somewhere, but Farkle was out of reach in a second. "I'm gonna go enjoy what might be my last night on your freakishly comfy couch. Where will the girls sleep, anyway?" Lucas let the question go unanswered because he could tell when Farkle was talking mostly to himself. 

"Goodnight, Farkle." 

"Goodnight, Lucas." 

~ 

Maya and Riley ended up taking his room. He'd hesitated as he passed his parents room, but that door was firmly locked just like his dad's office and he wasn't sure he could handle that right then. Instead, he made his bed a little bit nicer and sent Maya and Riley up. 

"And no funny business!" 

Maya had the audacity to wink at him before chasing her girlfriend up the stairs. 

He turned to face Farkle. 

"The Comfy Couch could fit two." Farkle offered. 

It really couldn't, and Lucas wasn't sure if accepting would be a bigger blessing or curse. 

It's a little of both, he decided, as he laid pressed against the boy he'd been pining after's back. "We need to talk about this." 

He said it so sleepily and quietly into Farkle's hair that he didn't know if he'd heard him. 

"In the morning." He promised. 

"In the morning." 

~ 

The morning came, and they didn't talk about it. Instead, Lucas watched while Maya painted little rainbows on everyone's faces. 

Riley buzzed around like a young pride Santa Claus, distributing the things she'd bought them to wear. For Lucas, it was a rainbow striped muscle tee that Maya giggled at but he automatically loved. Farkle already had a baseball tee that said "If you play for both teams you always win." It was Lucas's favorite shirt of his for a number of reasons. Riley had also brought a pair of shorts striped in bi flag colors for him. Her own dress was covered in tiny rainbows and she had a pan pride flag bandana in her hair. Maya wore a plain white romper under her queer pin covered denim jacket, and she tied a matching rainbow bandana around her wrist. 

Lucas would have felt silly by himself, but he had his best friends with him and everywhere they went they saw people who looked the same. 

It was fun in a way he hadn't experienced in a while. It was fun to watch Farkle and to watch Riley and Maya watch each other and to feel so infinite. 

Lucas felt like he could do anything. 

By the time they all stumbled up his front porch steps, the sun was setting. Riley turned music on through a speaker and spun Maya around in a twirl. Once again, Lucas felt like it was the night of graduation. He turned to Farkle anyway, and they began to dance. 

~ 

Seeing the girls off the next afternoon was made harder by the knowledge that Farkle would have to leave soon as well; it would have been easier if Lucas had known what his next year would be like. His fondness for the girls outgrew his jealousy as he watched them drive away. He remembered something Maya had said to him earlier, when they'd been the only ones awake. 

"If you want what me and Riley have, you've got to tell him. I was terrified when I told her I loved her, it's normal." 

"What if he doesn't feel the same?" 

"Do you really think that will happen?" 

Did he? 

He remembered all the times this summer that the thing between them had remolded itself into something more like romance. They were practically already dating, with all the dinners, domesticity, and stolen glances. He might as well try and make it official. 

"Let's go out tonight, to that fancy place I was telling you about." 

"Sounds like a date." 

"I hope it does." 

"Does that mean we're going to talk about it?" 

Lucas smiled. "Over the best breadsticks Texas has to offer." 

They talked about anything and everything else first. Farkle laughed loudly enough at one of Lucas's college/Zay related anecdotes that their snooty waitress gave them a dirty look. He'd been trying in vain to stop laughing when Lucas burst out, "I'm in love with you." 

Farkle went from happy to shocked to blushing to smiling in seconds, but it stretched out like a lifetime to Lucas. 

"Lucas..." He tried to prepare himself for anything Farkle could say. "Lucas, this is wild. I love you too." 

"I'd say this is a successful first date." 

"First? We've been on at least a dozen." 

Lucas laughed. "But not officially." 

"It wouldn't matter if dates were official or not if you were my boyfriend." 

Farkle watched him across the table, hopeful and shy. 

"That sounds good to me." 

~ 

Morning light fell on them through the window. Lucas remembered their minor argument when Farkle had first showed up, about who got the bed. This was the first time Farkle had slept in a real bed for a while. 

Lucas traced the line of his jaw with one finger. 

"You're so pretty." 

Farkle scoffed and turned his cheek farther into the pillow. 

"No, for real. Every time you've ever acted like you were jealous of me I just wanted to kiss you and tell you how beautiful you are." 

"I think I mistook a lot of my middle school gay feelings of attraction for jealousy." 

Lucas laughed. "Well, it sure did stroke my ego anyway." 

His phone screen flashed: Incoming call from Maya. 

Farkle grabbed it and answered. 

"Hey, Huckleberry, we're back home now so-" 

"That's great, we're glad your safe, but my boyfriend can't come to the phone right now." He hung up, cutting off Riley's excited scream. 

"Why'd you do that?" 

"So I could do this." Farkle pulled him in for a kiss. 

The world shifted again, and Lucas leaned in a little bit closer.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: evieslonnie  
> come say hi


End file.
